He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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