My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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