I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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