Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
