The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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