Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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