Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
