winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
