how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
