i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize