is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My dick has a subreddit
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
