how can u be prego again
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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