Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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