I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
