i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
