is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
