Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
