We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
