3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
