I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
