remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
