I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
