Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
