the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
