she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
