Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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