i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
