yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
