I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
