I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
she looked like the before picture.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
