Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
