Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
