You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
