it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
my liver is dry heaving
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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