I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize