She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I will be naked everywhere
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
