I skipped work to stalk him.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
