So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
