How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
