White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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