We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
