Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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