just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
