Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
