people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So many bounce houses so little time
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
