You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize