Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
