you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I need to calm my uterus...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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