i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
