Whod you bang
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
