i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
