physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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