the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
