maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
