can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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