Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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