I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
