I just saw a hot homeless man
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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