Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
someone owes me an orgasm
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Thank you for not boning my boss.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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