dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
this hospital has no fireball
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
