i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize