We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
