oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
PANTIES FOUND
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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