dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
