Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
