R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
