we have officially lost it.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
