He is such a slut. More and more my type.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
