Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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