Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
