wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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