I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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