"it" just moved
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
