OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
